tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-103557758641780741.post7430461309905164546..comments2009-10-01T16:50:06.362-07:00Denise Burkshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01779365028624975689noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-103557758641780741.post-52047984006638680782009-10-01T16:50:06.362-07:002009-10-01T16:50:06.362-07:00It is not a pretty memory, regardless of which side of the screen door you were standing.<br /><br />I regret that day. Especially when she tells me that, &quot;No one in the neighborhood can believe that you made me pay you to take care of the children!&quot; <br /><br />But, yes, I did become the children&#39;s babysitter and I did get paid the same amount that the high school kid would have been paid, $10 per hour. <br /><br />Since we shared custody on a very specific 50/50 schedule, I never asked to get paid while my husband was responsible for the children, naturally. And because the children were going to be away with their Mom for a few weeks, I was only asking to be paid for three weeks of childcare that summer. <br /><br />10 weeks = Summer Vacation <br />5 weeks = Dad Custody <br />5 weeks = Mom Custody <br />2 weeks = Mom and Kids On An Adventure <br />3 weeks = Outside Babysitter Required<br /><br />That summer established me as a babysitter and I continued that relationship, until the children were old enough that they didn&#39;t need a babysitter. <br /><br />It was critical for me to have the meter running when the children were with me. It made a tangible weekly announcement of how many hours the children were with me when they were supposed to be with their Mom. I love those kids but any kids are a ton of work and I wanted her to do her part, too. <br /><br />I wanted to motivate her to come home and money talks, loudly.<br /><br />The other thing that this arrangement taught me was to remember my place. The fact is, I am not the Mommy. I was the babysitter, literally, and I said a million times, “Did you ask Mom? Is that OK with Mom? What would Mom say?” <br /><br />Of course my favorite line was, “I’m telling your Mom!”Denise Burkshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01779365028624975689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-103557758641780741.post-79581273250885828552009-09-30T14:50:35.062-07:002009-09-30T14:50:35.062-07:00Oh my!! Welcome to stepmom blogging!!!~Tulip~http://www.blogger.com/profile/17661263613379833104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-103557758641780741.post-52690417300492194512009-09-30T09:38:13.626-07:002009-09-30T09:38:13.626-07:00The swimsuit blog (or the nipple blog) was just like reading a post from one of the stepmoms in my online stepmom support group. The girls would have had a blast with that one, let me tell you, and the BM would have been the butt of many a joke. But, stepmom that I am myself, I could have predicted that the suggestion that she pay you for child care would go over like a grassfire fueled by 60-mph winds and you&#39;d better wear your asbestos suit to that conversation. <br /><br />So did you buckle and take care of the kiddos all summer for free? That&#39;s exactly what most BMs would think you should do.Phyllis Hammondhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15634732162757464469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-103557758641780741.post-56269951710808629812009-09-29T13:57:10.761-07:002009-09-29T13:57:10.761-07:00Oh my god!!! I can&#39;t imagine!!!<br /><br />Yup, who wants that image burned on their retina. Not I!<br /><br />Feeling your pain. And loving your blog!!<br /><br />LBM xxxxLa Belle Mere UKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05081037978656372933noreply@blogger.com